Every Disney Renaissance Movie Reviewed and Ranked - Part 2
Pocahontas (1995)
I came into Pocahontas with very low expectations, and it just about met them!
The animal sidekicks in this movie are genuinely annoying and just not funny. At all. Ever. Probably the worst sidekicks in any Disney propoerty.
Because they supply the only comedy in the film, it just leaves a very dry feeling. It’s almost all drama, and the drama isn’t good. And I just established that the comedy isn’t good. So why watch it?
Exactly.
The villain, Ratcliffe, was awful. He literally just went on and on about gold the entire time, which got really irritating by the end. I’m 100% fine with a more goofy villain, but not one they have ONE gimmick.
Wiggins was alright though.
BEST CHARACTER: Wiggins(trust me, there was very little competition.)
BEST SONG: When Ratcliffe said “Success. Will be mine~. At last.”
Virginia Company’s pretty good too.
Biggest Waste of My Time
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
The opening of this movie is amazing.
I’m not talking about opening sequence, The Bells of Notre Dame, which is great, don’t get me wrong, I’m talking about the opening credits.
The choir singing, the bells ringing, the blue castle coming into view only after ten seconds of a black screen, it’s such a minor thing, but it sets the tone so well for me.
And about tone… this movie has the worst tonal issues out of any of these. You can really feel the writers adding silly moments in between serious and dark scenes in an attempt to “balance” the tone, but it just feels like lopsided, like we’re going GOOFY! Serious. GOOFY! Serious.
The worst example of this is the final battle. We start with the incredible “SANCTUARY!” Scene, followed by unnecessary slapstick, complete with a Goofy scream, followed by Frolo trying to kill Quasimodo and Esmeralda with a sword.
Despite these major problems, the movie still works really well. The plot is really good, and when the tone is good, it’s excellent. It reminds me of The Dragon Prince in that when it stops trying with the jokes, it can actually be good. There are exceptions to this comedy rule, like the scene where Quasimodo and Phoebus have to work together, that was comedy gold.
Frollo is a great villain. He’s very scary, very pervy, has an excellent voice actor… but you already knew that.
The gargoyles aren’t awful. I didn’t say I loved them, I didn’t say they were funny, but they’re not awful. Save for “A Guy Like You”. That song’s existence is already reduandant(“Heaven’s Light” already exists, and is a very cute song), but it’s placement in the movie is atrocious(we just watched Frollo burn a house down with people trapped inside, and then attempt to kill Phoebus).
I really, really like Quasimodo! He’s such an earnest, kind person. Like, to the point where he’s my favorite character, which is something I can’t say for any of the other movies on this list.
Hunchback good. Watch Hunchback.
BEST CHARACTER: Quasimodo
BEST SONG: Out There
Best “I Want” song
Hercules (1997)
This is the second movie in what I call the “Goofy Duology”, with Aladdin being the other one. And while I say I prefer Aladdin in that duology, Hercules is still really, really good!
Hercules himself is also one of my favorite Disney protagonist, he’s a quintessential himbo, and very fun to watch.
The romance between Herc and Megara works really well for me, despite them not spending that much time together, which is usually a problem for me.
Hades is an absolute riot. To be honest, his screaming was slightly wearing on me by the end, but overall, he’s a great time. His minions Pain and Panic are surpringly pretty good, too.
The Muses are complete, utter, vibes, and their songs are bangers, but I’d say my favorite song is One Last Hope, sung by THE Philoctetes, one of my favorite Disney sidekicks. And I really like Danny DeVito, so that helps.
Oh, and the movie is really funny. Special shout-out to the “Call IX-I-I!” joke, that should not have been as funny as it was.
…yeah, I don’t have a ton to say this time. Go watch Hercules!
BEST CHARACTER: Hades
BEST SONG: One Last Hope
Best Villain
Mulan (1998)
Whenever I thought about Mulan before my recent rewatch, I thought of it as pretty good. Not exactly up there, but good.
I’m glad to say I was wrong, Mulan is really great! I’d say my favorite chunk of the movie was, as always, the slow section, when the characters were at the camp. It also has the iconic pool scene.
Mushu is a very fun character, but I would say he doesn’t have quite up there with my favorite, Genie. I’d say he’s slightly above Cogsworth. He has plenty of good moments, like “HE WAS THREE FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!”
Speaking of that line, the set piece in the mountains is, excuse my 2012-ism, AWESOME. It’s easy for me to forget that most of these movies aren’t that action heavy, so it’s nice to see one that is.
Mulan is a great character and a great protaginist, but I don’t know how to talk about her so I’m gonna end it off there.
The villain, Shan Yu, is pretty lame. Although, you don’t need a great, or even GOOD villain to have a great movie. Just look at Guardians of the Galaxy! Ronan sucked!
I’m not gonna say “watch Mulan” because you already KNOW you should.
BEST CHARACTER: Mushu
BEST SONG: I’ll Make a Man Out of You
Second Best Eddie Murphy Role
Tarzan (1999)
This was the very first time I’d seen Tarzan in full. My sister used to watch it a lot, and I would catch 10-20 minute chunks of it. Now that I’ve seen the whole thing in one go, I can say that it was… pretty much what I expected.
Not to say it was bad, I just expected a pretty good movie, and that was about what I got.
I wouldn’t say the characters were a real standout in this one. You’ll see a pattern that the movies with the strongest characters are usually the highest up(like Genie from Aladdin, Rafiki from The Lion King, or pretty much every character from Beauty & The Beast).
Clayton was a mid villain overall, but his death scene is very metal.
You can tell they were pushing the CGI in this movie, and it hold up, unlike the movie they made 9 years ago.
Kerchak is… really mean. I don’t like him.
Iconic.
BEST CHARACTER: Tarzan
BEST SONG: Strangers Like Me
Sexiest Disney Protagonist
Okay, all the movies are reviewed, let’s get into the ranking!…
…
…
s.
SIDEKICK RANKING
Genie
Rafiki(if he counts, which I don’t think he does.)
Mushu
Cogsworth
Phil
Lumiere
Sebastian
Pumba
Timon
Wilbur
Turk
Abu
The Gargoyles
The raccoon and the bird from pocahontas
VILLAIN RANKING
Hades
Scar
Ursula
Jafar
Frollo
Gaston
Shan Yu
Clayton
McCleach
Ratcliffe
ROMANCE RANKING
Belle & Beast
Hercules & Megara
Tarzan & Jane
Esmeralda & Phoebus
Bernard & Bianca
Simba & Nala
Aladdin & Jasmine
Mulan & Shang
Ariel & Eric
Pocahontas & John Smith
…okay, for real.
THE RANKING
S-TIER
The Lion King (9/10)
Beauty & The Beast (8.5/10)
A-TIER
Aladdin (8/10)
Mulan (8/10)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (8/10)
Hercules (8/10)
B-TIER
Tarzan (7/10)
The Little Mermaid (7/10)
The Rescuers Down Under (6/10)
D-TIER
Pocahontas (5/10)